Me? Not really. I mean I never really thought I'd call myself a workaholic, but looking at myself right now, I guess maybe I am.

And it's all in the name of money.

Technically, I have two jobs. One is that full-time teaching position. The other is more of a sideline if anything, but it pays okay considering that I'm new to all this writing stuff. I sometimes wish I'd done this sooner; maybe I wouldn't be having a hard time right now. It's like I'm working from 8am to 9pm.

But hey, I'm not complaining (okay, maybe I am but just a teeny bit). Like I said, it's all about the money.

Why the sudden interest in money, you ask? First of all, my interest in money is nothing new. I love money. Everyone does. Just look at our politicians.

Kidding aside, with everything that's happening and going to happen, I will not deny myself the pleasures of my luho, just because I have to pay the bills. No, I am going to do whatever it takes for me to have enough moolah for basic necessities AND buy whatever I want to buy without feeling guilty. If I need to break my back doing that, then so be it. If I do break my back, then at least I will have the money to buy a cool wheelchair.

Okay I think this is enough. I still have an article to edit.

And by the way, Here Comes The Bride is the bomb. Go watch it. Pak!

Currently feeling: tired

I was standing in line in Puregold Jr. with a bag of Friskies when the guy in front of me looked over and started touching the cat food.

Guy: (to his female companion) Tignan mo o, pagkain para sa pusa.
Girl: Ikaw talaga, nakikihawak ka.
Guy: *laughs* Siguro tumatalino yung mga pusa pag ganyan ang kinakain.
Me: Di rin. *laughs*
Guy: (to me) Imported yung pusa mo no?
Me: Opo.

While paying for their groceries, the guy behind me sees the cat food and pats it.

Guy#2: Para sa pusa mo?
Me: Opo.
Guy#2: *pats the bags of chocolates he's carrying and grins* Para sa misis ko.
Misis: *whapak*

Ang cute nung mag-asawang yon, hahaha.

Wala lang. Good night.

Currently listening to: Kaze - Aviators
Currently feeling: okay

People always say that we have to live our lives to the fullest, that we have to make every single moment count, that we should find our purpose and strive to make a mark in this world. As we take deep breaths, our lungs filled with life-giving air, we take a step closer to our purpose. For some, it's as clear as day. For others, it's like...trying to lick your elbow.

Yes, I got tired of the serious crap. Anyway.

I've been cooped up in my room for almost two weeks. With the summer vacation ongoing and no summer load, my services are not required in school except if the boss asks me to report for work. Not that I'm complaining, mind you; I think it's fun to not do any of the usual paperwork for a change. But this considerable amount of free time has got me really thinking of my life. I'm turning 27 in three weeks, and after doing some serious self-examination, I have concluded that I am frustrated.

Why?

I'm frustrated that I am not allowed to express myself. Frustrated that I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. That I am bound by too many rules, too many expectations, too many responsibilities. That even after sucking it up and taking on these said responisibilities, I am not compensated enough. That I cannot find people who I can rely on, people who are not too dependent like a sheep to its shepherd. That I am cynical when it comes to matters of the heart. That life isn't fair but I have to accept it.

Most of all, I am frustrated because I am too afraid to change.

I remember hearing somewhere that in order to succeed, one must think out of the box. Step out of your comfort zone. Take risks, take chances, make changes, and breakaway (yes, I'm channeling Kelly Clarkson here). These things I'm afraid of, because I have no idea how to handle whatever minor or major changes it will bring to my life.

And that fear is stopping me from living my life. It's like I'm sabotaging myself.

What's more scary is the fact that I am not getting any younger. It's high time I stop being afraid.

Something big is going to happen in a couple of months, and this will definitely change my family's lives in different ways. If I want to survive and succeed, I need to stop being a wimp.

So watch out. I'm going to shake things up a bit.

Currently listening to: Rascal Flatts - Stand

Wow, a lot has happened since I updated.

Let's see. Graduation, Ilocos trip, KRA Night, Mindoro weekend. I have nothing but love for all of those and I had a grand time, and I knew it was only a matter of time before something bad would happen.

For years, we've been wanting Seven to get pregnant. We even went to the vet for a stud, but that proved to be money down the drain. So when my sister's friend's cat gave birth, she offered to give us a tom. Having a male cat in the house would ensure gestation.

A couple of months ago, we noticed the signs. Seven was pregnant and we were all so excited. We gave her food (but not too much), made sure she was never stressed (we had to keep Jaffe in the back because he would always pounce and play with her), and pray that she would give birth with lots and lots of kitties.

Last night, she was laying beside me when I felt her have her first contraction. I immediately prepared her box and put her in there and watched over her as she went through her first kitty-birth.

I guess you know by now what happened.

She had a hard time, I could tell. It got to a point when she walked out of the box and went into the closet and ended up in the bathroom. When the kitty was finally out, I knew it was dead.

It broke my heart to see Seven lick the dead kitty clean, maybe trying to revive it. It broke my heart every time she'd go back to it and lick it again. And now it's breaking my heart to hear her meow and go around, looking for her baby.

I don't know what went wrong. Did we not keep Jaffe away from her enough? Should we have taken her to the vet? Is she really not meant to have kitties?

Demmit. I don't know if she can feel the pain of her loss, but even if she doesn't, I do. I don't know what to do, how to make her stop looking for it. And I feel like I lost a member of the family.

Hay, sorry for the sad post. I needed to get this off my chest.

Currently watching: Bones (marathon)
Currently feeling: sad